Kweku Akyirefi Amoasi, formerly known as Ramel Smith
Kweku’s Korner
By Dr. Kweku Akyirefi Amoasi
One of the most powerful scenes in the movie “Black Panther” is when T’Challa goes to the realm of the ancestors to talk to his father after he is crowned King and Black Panther. He meets his father, T’Chaka, and tells him how much he loves him and misses his guidance. The father stops him and says, “What father is a father that has not prepared his son for his death?” He was telling him that he knew he would not be in his life always, but would leave nuggets of wisdom to pull on in difficult times.
We all have that relative who meant the world to us, and when they transitioned to the next realm, they left a marvelous void in our lives. But because they knew the day would come when we would need their advice, guidance, and love, they left us lessons embedded within our minds and hearts.
So, when your heart yearns for an answer, look back to every picture, video, conversation, and any other symbol (e.g., article of clothing, book, statue, restaurant, favorite place, or song) that will direct you to a core memory that illuminates an answer for your question.
This is a lesson for today and tomorrow. For example, the way we look for answers from those in our past— we are that to people today. So, be mindful and intentional about every conversation and interaction with those who will look for your voice tomorrow. Prepare people for your eventual absence in the flesh but guarantee your perpetual presence in the spirit.
My maternal grandmother dropped many gems on me that serve me to this very day. But she gave me a formula as easy as 1-2-3.
1. She was a woman of great faith, and I saw her practice this daily. When she was lost, she looked for divine guidance. Her favorite book was the Bible, and one of her favorite scriptures was Psalms 130. The very first verse reads “Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O’Lord. LORD, hear my voice. Let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.”
2. She knew the importance of family, friends, and trusted circles. Her house was filled with love, laughter, and food. She taught by actions and words to understand that the strength was in togetherness. She held people accountable but taught forgiveness by exhibiting mercy and grace. She was a love alchemist. She could transform water into blood because she was a lover of humanity and made everyone in her presence part of her family.
3. She understood action was also a part of your healing. The very thing we ask for, we have to be willing to give. Her words that stand as my guide are “the best way to heal yourself is to help others.”
Family, there is a cycle of life that includes the beauty of births and marriages, the formulation of friendships and community connections that make life have meaning. The other end of that cycle is the eventual reality that those relationships will one day be concluded when our family and friends transition. The keyword is transition, not die. Meaning that the relationship is not dead, just not the same. If we can learn to also transition our communication, we will understand that the answers we seek have already been answered.