Kweku’s Korner
By Dr. Ashley Zapata
Dr. Ashley Zapata
As a clinical and sports psychologist in a very male-dominated sphere, an Afro-Caribbean woman who has operated in homogeneously white spaces, a mother of three amazing humans, and everything else that makes up my robust and dynamic demographic footprint, I have absolutely faced my share of disappointments and setbacks. Whether it’s a job I felt was meant for me slipping through my fingers or being overlooked for a team after months of hard work, those moments can sting. But here’s the thing – those closed doors aren’t the end of the road. They can be opportunities in disguise, nudging us to look in new directions and rediscover our passions.
First, let’s talk about that gut-wrenching feeling when you get rejected, YIKES! It’s okay to be upset. Whether it’s the job you were sure you’d land, or a team spot you worked your heart out for, take a moment to acknowledge the disappointment. Talk it out with friends or a therapist, cry if needed, and let those feelings out. Bottling them up only makes things worse.
After the initial sting wears off, it’s time to flip the script. That closed door. It’s not a dead end. It’s more like a detour sign, pointing you toward something you might have been ignoring. Think about your long-term goals and passions. Have you sidelined your business ideas, creative projects, or other dreams while chasing this one opportunity? Now might be the perfect time to dive back into those.
For example, when I missed out on an opportunity I wanted, or rather it missed out on me, I turned my attention back to my practice and creative projects. I started writing more, developing workshops, and expanding my services. It was a fantastic way to grow in ways I hadn’t expected. Instead of being stuck on what could’ve been, I found new paths to success and fulfillment.
Not making the cut for a particular endeavor can feel like the end of the world. But it’s also a chance to improve your skills and explore new roles in your life and some cases maybe a new sense of purpose.
Leaning on my community was the most supportive and beneficial thing I could have done in those moments. Talking to my family, friends, and professional groups about what I was going through helped to quiet the unhelpful voice in my mind and refocused me toward what ultimately turned out to be my confident and determined inner self at maximum volume. Hearing other people’s stories of overcoming similar setbacks can be incredibly uplifting. It reminds you that you’re not alone and that it’s okay to struggle sometimes.
We all have a unique strength that comes from overcoming obstacles, and that strength can help us carve out spaces where we can truly thrive.
So, when a door closes, remember it’s not the end of your story. It’s just a plot twist, pushing you toward new adventures and opportunities. Embrace the disappointment, then channel that energy into something new and exciting. Keep moving forward with a firm belief in your potential. After all, sometimes the best paths are the ones we never planned on taking.