Kweku’s Korner
By Ashley Hines
Founder & CEO of Thee Tailored Life
Ashley Hines
Letting go can be tough. My beloved grandmother, Bessie M. Gray, passed away on April 29, just three days after her 90th birthday. In her 90 years, she moved from Arkansas to Wisconsin, married, raised ten children, and cherished 31 grandchildren, 37 great-grandchildren, and three great-great-grandchildren. She pioneered childcare initiatives, owned businesses, pursued higher education, served our community, and traveled, all while enduring great trials. She embraced life fully and left a rich legacy.
When someone who lived a long, full life passes, loved ones must navigate these sentimental remnants, which can be challenging without explicit instructions. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and think everything they owned was equally important. Thus, it becomes essential to separate our emotions from these items. Sentimental clutter refers to items kept strictly for their memories, emotional attachment, or stories. Examples include furniture, photographs, souvenirs, event programs, newspaper articles, clothing, and fine china.
Here are my tips for decluttering sentimental items:
1. Identify Your Why: Find a compelling reason for releasing the clutter, such as creating more space, enjoying the items more, avoiding storage costs, or simplifying cleaning and organizing. Make sure this reason is personally significant.
2. Develop a Plan: Consider what you need to succeed while caring for yourself. You can partner with someone or go it alone. Declutter sentimental items when you are in a good emotional space, not during fresh grief or when feeling tired or unsettled. Sunlight or your favorite music might help.
3. Assess the Emotion with Each Item: Determine if the emotions tied to the item are mostly positive or negative. If negative (often fear, obligation, and guilt), release the item to avoid letting that negativity live in your space (rent-free!). If positive, consider repurposing—paint old furniture, turn old t-shirts into blankets or pillows, or gift baby clothes to new parents. Also, your space will guide how much you can keep. Sometimes, the best way to honor yourself and others is by giving items a new life with someone who will use them. This can make it easier to part with the items. Consider donating to group homes or locally owned thrift stores.
As Margaret Ellison says, “If everything is sentimental, nothing is sentimental.” Give yourself grace; it takes work to build new habits. Be realistic and do what works for you.
If you email me at hello@thetailoredlife.com and mention this article, I’ll send you a free Sentimental Clutter Guide to aid your journey. I also recommend The Afrominimalist’s Guide to Living with Less by Christine Platt, a book that has changed my life.
Be kind to yourself.
Ashley Hines is a corporate executive, community leader, and holistic home organizer. She lives in Milwaukee with her husband and two children.
Learn more at theetailoredlife.com.