Kweku’s Korner
Guest Writer: Dr. Alisia Moutry
Kweku Akyirefi Amoasi, formerly known as Ramel Smith
By Dr. Alisia Moutry
Alisia Moutry, PhD is an Educator, Speaker and Owner of 4AM Consulting. www.4amconsulting.com
I had a dream last night that I was literally on the hunt seeking to find a Costa Rican fruit called Guanabana (also known as Soursop), which I fell in love with on the very first taste. In this dream, my friend Laura and I were riding in an open Jeep on a very unpaved and extremely bumpy road. We were all over the place trying to find this fruit. Needless to say, we chased all night long but never found it. Our dreams give such insight and have so many meanings to our actual life. This dream is actually the inspiration and birth of this article…. Stop chasing: after I needed things. Let’s start off with reality, when we chase something that means it’s running from us. When I see someone running, I do two things: figure out what’s chasing the person, then I assess the situation to determine if I should run too. The question of the moment, WHAT ARE YOU CHASING? We often chase things we desperately want but not necessarily need. Are you chasing money, fame, a particular job, a relationship, wealth, reputation, friendship, membership in a particular organization, material things (car, house, designer purse), a new fake you (bundles, butt implants, a man unit), business venture, and or a title? If your chase isn’t listed, take a pause right now to actually name it in your mind. During this read, the goal and challenge I offer is for you to determine what chase is happening in your life? Why are you chasing it? How can you break free from it and what can you do to replace the unneeded chase?
Why chase?
Research has suggested the more we chase the more we want! At some point you find yourself chasing just for the sake of the high provided by chasing something you can’t catch. We are wired to repeat behaviors that make us feel great. The pursuit of happiness is ingrained in our DNA. Sometimes we chase things we don’t have to fulfill emotional needs, to provide us with a sense of belonging, seeking attention or affection. Sometimes we chase pleasure to avoid pain. Thinking of what you identified, why are you chasing it?
If you drive by a few elementary school playgrounds you will likely see children chasing each other. Why do they do it? Typically they chase to have fun, to frighten and or intimidate the person they are chasing, to burn off energy, or to get something back taken from them. If you continue to watch for the children on the playground eventually they stop running and then the chase is over. That’s the key to this article …If you stop chasing it, it will stop running! Let me repeat that, if you stop chasing it, it will stop running!
Strategies to Break Free from the Chase.
Rather than chase, replace that time with a new focus. Sometimes the act of running can be used as a distraction from the things you really need to focus on, typically, YOURSELF. Go sit down somewhere and get caught up on YOU! Think back to the beginning of the article, you were asked to consider that unneeded thing you are chasing. If the thing you are chasing is supposed to be yours, it will be without you making a move. Today is the day you need to be still and know that I am (if you know the quote you know) and wait patiently to see if the desires of your heart will be claimed, or not, or just not right now and maybe even a sign that you don’t need it. Have you ever considered, what you are chasing is not good for you? Here are a few things you can do to break free from the chase:
- Focus and appreciate what you actually already have. There is always someone doing worse than you and actually they would love to step into your shoes just as you are.
- Work on developing/bettering yourself. Fulfill the dream /promise you made to yourself: go back to school, write that book, go get certified in that field, get to the gym, surrender your life to Christ (or what higher being you seek), drop those unwanted pounds, stop clicking that purchase button for your online store of choice (Does Amazon pop in your mind, like me?), increase that savings account, upgrade that car and wardrobe to name a few.
- Go get that new hairdo. Be natural, be you, retire that weave and wig. Just cut it off and go bald men…. you are brushing your scalp not hair.
- Pray, focus on helping others.
- Be content and find joy where you are.
- Eliminate and or dispose of things that are blocking your blessings: old relationships that you know are over (or should be), Clothes that you have owned and haven’t looked at or worn in more than a year, old things that are taking up space for new things: relationships with family and friends, clothes, furniture, homes, cars, mindset, attitudes, bad habits that are stifling and demobilizing ways of thinking.
- Go visit the elderly or someone that has been on your mind. Mama Daisy always told us, “the best way to help yourself is to help others.”
- Spend some time with positive family and friends to refuel yourself.
- Start and or finish up a project.
- I am not sure who needs to read this but that closet and a few drawers in your home have been screaming for attention.
While you wait …. things are being worked out and you can save and redirect your energy from the chase by dedicating time to the things listed above. Your feet literally need to rest, please go sit down somewhere, redirect your focus and wait on what is destined. No need to chase!